the coming hunt - by Joe Lofgren

as winter    

thickens

so do

 

the wolves

 

silent

cedar dome

spy

 

ripe

toughened

rump

 

forest's edge

and

 

the coming hunt

Comments

[pete pick]

i think you hold in ctrl as you press enter for single spacing - shari will know, but it's something like that. i usually type it out somewhere else and paste it in - that seems to work.

as for the poem, i admire its spare simplicity, but do you mean to imply that the wolf thickens with winter (which is a possible reading here) - its coat might but i think it will get thinner. i like 'ripe rump'. (i do not mean to imply any sexual preference.)

[Joe Lofgren]

Actually wolves get stronger as the winter goes on...quite the opposite of any other animal. That being said, "thickens" for me with respect to winter can mean, literally, the snow thickens, the severity thickens...and thickening naturally suggests something is thinning...summer's grasp on the land, daylight, other animal's coping and sustainability, etc etc.

[pete pick]

i'm pleased to learn that about wolves, although i do find it strange.

"thickening naturally suggests something is thinning"?
well well.

[Shari-Lyn McArthur]

I have no trouble with the thickening. You have evoked the ominous quality of the natural order of things. The poem also lends itself to allegorical readings, which I appreciate.

I do wonder, if having the title be the same as the last line, is a missed opportunity for additional nuance? Yes, I think I'd like to see another title, and save the coming hunt for the end.

[Shari-Lyn McArthur]

I also find myself inserting an article here. Not sure why.

the forest's edge
and

the coming hunt

[Joe Lofgren]

Shari-Lyn,

Thanks, especially, for your comment about the title. I agree, it is a missed opportunity to create additional nuance and I remember thinking that as I wrote the poem. I'll keep meditating on it and see where the thought bubbles lead.

Also, appreciate your report on the inserting of a "the" before "forest's edge." I hear you, for sure, and will marinate the information for a while.

[jamesthomashoward]

I can't reconcile s3, Joe, but other than that nit I enjoy this a lot. It's spare, precise like a stalking predator.

Title-wise, what about something like 'chain', sort of implying the food-chain but also the wolves' "enchainment" (my own coinage) to the season. 'Chain of Event', 'Cause and Chain', 'Chainging of the Guard' (made myself laugh with that one!)

thanks,

james

[Erika Hommel]

What if....you took out 'the' in front of wolf, moved it down to 'the' forest's edge?

Kind puts in a nice little balance there-

as for the title what if you used another word that implied something that is approaching, like immient threat? lol....I think Bush might have used that phrase once or twice....