Lee's Dialogue: Volume I by Joe Lofgren
Joe Lofgren May 27, 2009 at 5:31AM Lee's Dialogue: Volume I
I'm the best FBI agent
in the history of the FBI.
I report to Brenden Haukos.
My duties include investigation, ferreting,
with limited enforcement,
I might want to contact Lee's friend
Scott Fick at Scott@john.com by email,
here's his Skype phone number;
320-hyphen-281-hyphen-0628.
Also, here's his cell number—oh shit
he's calling...
Here's his cell number;
320-hyphen-217-hyphen-3234...
he's got connections
in the computer underworld.
Jack; I'm going to give you another number—Rachel.
I want her contacted through Brenden.
It is 612-hyphen-227-hyphen-9882.
You must deliver that message
without calling it. Promise?
You must deliver that message to Rachel.
(phone)
“Hey Anthony is Gary Guygacks there?
You know Gary Guygacks from CSI
and Paddy's Game Shoppe?...
you don”t know who that is?...
the owner of Dungeons and Dragons?
You don't know who Paddy is?....
you think she's just a generic Orc with black hair?....
I'm slurring all my words together,
leave some if your going back in time.
He's called Gary Guygacks
the administrator of Dungeons and Dragons.
How much have you played?
Do you know any characters?
Name fifteen characteristics....
what do you mean charisma....
that's the least degenerative of them all...
what are you talking about
I buy stuff there all the time, I stock the place.
Well I better leave before you kick me out....
I don't wanna get kicked out....
bye.....bye....”
oh, boy. oh, boy. oh, boy. oooh, boy. oh, boy. oh, boy. oh, boy.
oh, boy. oh, boy. (laughing, giggling)
(speaking into the TV)
Attention all shoppers we got a blue light special,
we got a blue light special. All the allies you want,
all the allies you want, all the allies you can afford.
First bidder up to bat,
just say you got more weather rights than Lee the Gray.
Our new internet site is called GayBashers.com.
oh, boy. oh, boy. oh, boy (giggling)... (more laughing) oh, boy. oh, boy.
Guess how old I am....
15,000 years old....
how old are you?....
12?
(notebook)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
French police
Keepers of the flame
Replicants
Ninjas
Shao-lin
Intelligentsia
Hepatitis
Remote base
Stealth art
Nemesis
CIA
FBI
ACG
TDF
Radio tower red
Poseidon's Empire
SPY
(next column)
Chuck Norris Universe
Charles Bronson Universe
Rebel yell Universe
Scandinavia Universe
New Russia II
Survivors
The Forensics Experts Gottacs NYPD Blue
Nuke World and Robo Cop Authority
Earth Habitat V Jamie Lee Curtis
Umbrella Universe
Aliens Universe
Matrix Universe
Mini Vampires Universe
Kevin Smith and Jayson Mews Universe
Between a rock and a hard place Universe
History Channel Galaxy is a space station
TWC galaxy is a space station
MTV universe is a space station
Die Hard Galaxy
Arnold Schwarzenegger Galaxy
Blue Monday
Friends Universe
Reader Comments (8)
These always reminded me of a Roy Lichtenstein's painting, its really different and new (not that his are necessarily, but it works in my mind) But really, really enjoyable all the same, nice to see you posting.
I loved the cartoonish brio and dazzle of this- really fresh and bold. May i also echo Erika's pleasure at seeing you here.
Joe, I remember this from back when. Still confused and dazzled in equal measure. Erika's reference to Lichtenstein is spot-on. Yup.
Good to see you aboot the place.
B.
Thanks. More to come I hope.
You promised more Joe, so I am here to hold you to that.
Would you like this moved into your portfolio?
Hope to see you back round these parts soon.
B.
Yeah, I would like this moved to my portfolio. Sorry for the extended sabatical but things came up as things often do. Back for a short ditty, I hope. Still getting my mind wrapped around the mechanics of the site...
Hi, Joe. Please, have no worries about things coming up. That's life!
We will make a copy of your final version, and post to your Portfolio, and then move this to closed Critique.
Cheers!
This piece has been posted to Portfolio.