transpose by Erika Hommel

Having traded the $250 a hour whore
to listen to my blood spattered, sputtering
that went at neck breaking pace,

it is now
at a dripping

please pace yourself,

consider the folly

that falters only those who might
dispute it to the death, but in my head,
you do not live and it’s a lucky finding
that it is,
because the music doesn’t die down
till a deep stoic breath is severed and the devil’s
whip is expunged
either that or
the pills kick in;

toss
to a chance
that these woods might heal these bones,
that the patience of silence
small giddy streams will rub in
nothing but slow passive thought,
void less temptations
is a breathless hope
smothered in gauze and covered
with the chocolate earth,
but potted lightly so,
in hope.

Comments

[Brian Edwards]

My God Erika this is amazing. Those last two words so powerful, so right, and the hope comes through in the strength of the voice too. Clearly this speaker is a fighter.

2 teeny things:
do you need a before lucky?
do you need down after die?

Superb.

B.

[Erika Hommel]

Thanks Brian, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

About the 'a' before lucky, you know not really, why do you ask? I think it could go either way without much change ya know?

But yes, I think I require the use of the word 'down' after die.

Let me know what you think about the 'a'

[Shari-Lyn McArthur]

This has been posted to portfolio , and will be moved to closed critique.