Submission - by Brian Edwards
Brian Edwards May 17, 2009 at 6:33PM
Submission
I can't escape the brambles in my chest.
I cut them down but soon,
they all grow back.
It's punishment for what?
I won't confess to threats of violence,
dagger points
and fists.
With thorns,
with poison fruit
and fatal tracks I can't escape, these brambles
in my chest
confine me to a foregone consequence.
From every angle
spiny limbs attack as punishment.
So what.
I won't confess.
Go grow bouquets of garbage on my breast and fields of homeless beggars on my back that can't escape the brambles in their chests: among the destitute I'm at my best.
With severed heart and tongue, I'll raise a glass to punishment and what I don't possess.
Refuse to cry, refuse to feel bereft,
my love,
accept that you can never get me back.
I can't escape.
These brambles in my chest
are punishment for what I won't confess
~
Reader Comments (48)
yes, i can feel this, BUT....
i am uncomfortable with "foregone consequence" (which i do not really understand.... is it a play on foregone conclusion?) and with "bereft" which seems chosen in order to almost rhyme and is not ´natural´, i feel.
then, the last verse only reiterates, and weakens the whole thing.... but there are very strong lines and images here, the whole bramble thing is good, and ´spiny limbs´is fine.
Thanks Pete. Let me think on those lines some more.
Appreciate the input.
B.
the steely spiculi projected from females' paniculating tentacles can be overwhelming I see, it's no wonder Leopold von Sader-Masoch was so bat-shit crazy. this is a poignant illustration of briar boughs below our visual acuity.
Yup
Moseman said "poignant illustration". In bat country.
Cue Steadman. Nah, don't. I still owe him $$.
Take your banter, your bullshit and your bat countries and get the fuck away from my thread. This is NOT a clique. You are all fucking banned.
I WILL have FUN and PLEASURE with my POOETRY.
You people don't know fun. Pooetry does not bedeckon the hallowed halls of seriousity. It is joy of creative expression. Ban me now.
I await my banning. It's been at least 30 days since my last banning. You people are so NOT serious.
I am returning to my esteemed photo folk. They appreciate my non-compliance and dole out the appropriate/pre-negotiated consequences. Çiao, you word-folk.
My banning capabilities have been withheld by the TYRANT currently running this poo palace. I vote for a coup. Who's wid me?
A coup. Well, then. I shall stay.
Fcuk! Fcuk! guys did I miss it?! I brought my lampolearm...
lampolearm
I don't think a sex toy will help us right now Moseman. Although . . . .
Please submit plans for original trebuchets.
are you kidding me?! they came out with the game where you knock the castles down with the Flash MX designed physics driven trebuchet with upgradeable[six times w00t!] rocks and shit yeah they came out with that like last week. on newgrounds.
you have fallen behind the scimitire.
You fellows must be perusing competing pooetry sites! We must needs make ours the site that pome makers must track. More nudity!
Oh. I am so behind the scimitire.
you are talking about the hierogrammates-- well fuck them motherfuckers and fuck the hierodules too for I am Sad King Billy of Poems.
I should be on top of the scimitire for her maximum pleasure.
Pomegranates are dubious in their effort to be a real fruit.
how long does it take to get a motherfishing port-fucking-folio around here when you're the shit?! the fucking shit?!