Silly Boys

The image in
my head
was of a boy

falling

toward his
instinct

against his
better
judgement.

Not that his
infidelity

is a laughing
matter

but the image
of him
giving in

made me
giggle
out loud
in my bed.

We passed
each other
in the
morning
   
like two
silly boys:

chocolate
round
his mouth

his belly sore

a hand
pressed tight
to my face

like a small
dam.

Comments

[Shari-Lyn McArthur]

The delectable combination of delicacy and bluntishness is most appealing. This gentle brute, who is both amused and empathetic; I think I've met him in the hall. Instinct is a bitch. You handle this with aplomb.

[Stuart Ryder]

Hi Mike

So, I read this out loud to myself (er... ) and my two (only two, hehe) stumbling-blocks were:

- verse 8... I didn't think you needed "in my bed"
- verse 10... it read to me like a single line rather than a couplet

Hope that helped, amigo.

Cheers

Stuart

[Mike Barrett]

What an unexpected and lovely surprise! Thank you to whoever nominated this to be here; it is very much appreciated!

Shari - great to hear why this one connected with you.

and Stuart, thanks for your suggestions; I have tweaked this and untweaked it may ways -- I think I'm going to leave it alone (for now at least...)

[Jill Winkowski]

Ok Mike Barratt, This is it. You win! Gorgeous line breaks amazing evolution. I love this piece. This goes up on my fridge with Mitternacht by Kevin Jackson. I adore this poem.