Man Boldly Goes Evolving

In a future equidistant as from here
to the past an editor strips the trekkies
of their beloved slogan muttering
that will teach you, split infinitive. 

He sports the fidgety extra digit
his race has evolved specifically 
for the pushing of buttons and
from his anus he dispenses the brown

teardrop of a coffee bean. Swilling
the mug with his fork tongue
he curses the youth of today,
then dials his wife to put the pork on.

And he brings home the bacon. 
At this date, the light of the stars
is barely visible, and the moon
has all the ubiety of a frisbee. 

Now arrived, he parks his detachable
feet in the footway, reaching
into the third skin pocket along
for his keys and a honey I’m home.

Approaching his wife’s vagina
he boldly blesses her with his great
learning and goes diving for vowels,
pleased with himself and his day.

Meanwhile the relative relative
of Cornelius Cardew composes
his air on a bee’s wing, and from 
the notes there is barely any change.