Notes on the Strength of Materials by Bob Elliott

Notes on the Strength of Materials
---------------------------------

Load is applied with care. We do not see
each member, joined to its neighbour, flex,
transmit its small distortions.

The structure does not fail; yet hair-lines crack
the brittle surface-varnish into patterns.
Force makes visible
mutual support, deep complementary stress.

At tea-time, I walk home.
Through gaps in the traffic, smooth faces of children
appear and vanish.

Later this evening, you and I will explore
our bending moments, approach
the limits of strain; discern
which factors are constant; may even discover
all the degrees of freedom.


Comments

[Jill Winkowski]

Load is applied with care. We do not see
each member, joined to its neighbour, flex,
transmit its small distortions.

[ Nice!! first stanza. Lovely. ]

The structure does not fail; yet hair-lines crack
the brittle surface-varnish into patterns.
Force makes visible
mutual support, deep complementary stress

[I like "the structure does not fail, but something funny with next line and a half, take out "yet" and then something with the grammar is wordy until "patterns." Last two lines of stanza work]

At tea-time, I walk home.
Through gaps in the traffic, smooth faces of children
appear and vanish.

[Nice stanza!!]

Later this evening, you and I will explore
our bending moments, approach
the limits of strain; discern
which factors are constant; may even discover
all the degrees of freedom.

[Love everything in this stanza except last line and a half--too tentative, maybe take "all" out. ]

I love this discovery moment: when an exploration of the physical world connects intimately with human experience.

[Brian Edwards]

Is S3 essential Bob? If I skip past it I really connect with what Jill describes above as a "discovery moment". It grabs me as more immediate, more resonant.
I very much like the hair-lines creating patterns, but agree it is maybe a little wordy. Cut brittle and varnish maybe?
You handle the abstracts very well here Bob, nice write.

B.

[Rick Stansberger]

This starts out smart and interesting, but by the end the tension between intellect and emotion seems to have fizzled, at least for me. What if you drop out stanza 3?

Rick

[Kevin Jackson]

Bob, much enjoyed this. And after a number of reads continue to be surprised by it, which is great.

Rather support Jill's suggestions. Would you consider s2 -

"The structure does not fail; yet hair-lines crack
the brittle into patterns.
Force made visible,
mutual support, deep complementary stress"

Am torn between Rick's idea of dropping s3 and re-working it... it feels like some longer transition is needed between s2 and 4

k

[Bob Elliott]

Many thanks to everyone for most valuble comments.

I now think the problem lies with the syntax of S2, which doesn't follow on from S1 as it should.

I have tried to remove the childrens' faces many times, but somehow they keep insisting that they have a place there. Clearly, some more work needed.

Thanks once again, and apologies for this delayed response.