four Renaissance Portraits III: Holbein'sportrait of a merchant banker, by Bob Elliott
December 2, 2010 at 6:47PM 
When I walk back
along this gritty tunnel called experience,
treading among
deposits that ebbed time has left -
charred stumps of pasion, blunted shards of love -
I come at last to a last turn, and stall
against this picture men say is my portrait.
Full jaw is nascent jowl; prophesies dewlap.
Cheeks, limpid as a shaven bullock-haunch,
ponderous with speculation, are composed
and blocked upon impenetrable blue:
and on that screen, strict-lettered, run
first year, then age; an edge of time
brutally coined to intersect
my mouth, my neck.
Who chose the silk to match those guarded eyes ?
A shade
slightly this side of treason, though
approaching purple. His
hired fingers burrow still
deep into highlights, to betray
material figuring. His charged brush
taps yet through flesh, into the vein that draws
from brain's time-nattered fibres, dreams
of gold to clot the spawn of history; of gold
forging the hinge of power.
I wonder, sometimes, what are portraits for ?
What attribute of men in time
requires they hang, exposed in fellowship,
their daubed self-images, acquiring interest ?
And should I really care
to have my speaking likeness speak -
"You cannot stare me down,
O my opposing, O my innocent eye -
nor say
how thick the paint must be to hide
a blemished background, nor how thin
to tint a brightening nerve.
And do not dare to turn your back on me !
All you can do is sidle by
propped on weak verbs, observing as you pass
how in the sum of all this composition
my book still balances;
my hand still grasps."
Reader Comments (8)
Bob, this really takes off for me at S4. Of course you couldn't start there without at least establishing who the speaker is, but I wonder if S1-3 couldn't be greatly condensed?
B.
I too was thinking that v3 onwards is the strongest part. I don't think the first verse is as fresh - shards of love, stumps of passion are too abstract, don't make me feel anything about this particular chap.
I see now that Brian has similar thoughts...
Comments appreciated. I can understand what you are both driving at, though at this moment I don't agree.
I won't dilate on my reasons just yet, as I'd like to mull over your comments before replying. I might even change my mind !
BOB
As promised, I've had a good think about your comments, and on the whole I'm disinclined to change the poem in any significant way.
To modify the first part (particularly to excise it or reduce it) would be akin to chucking out the steering wheel because it contributes nothing to acceleration. In addition, it seems to me it would damage the coherence of the "Renaissance Portraits" set.
This last is difficult to justify briefly, so I've put a set of notes on my rough-book that may prove of interest. I shall be quite interested to see any comments there.
And if I had a clue how to find your rough book, I might well have a look there :-)
Ros
If you go to any member's portfolio at After Literature, by clicking on their name in the Portfolios section of the right side bar, or by going to the alphabetical index of authors by clicking Portfolios in the top nave bar, you should see what "journals" that writer has at After Literature. The journals should appear in a list at the top of the right side bar, under the writer's name. Some members have Blog which is visible to the public, and a Roughbook which is visible to logged in members only. I am also in the process of adding the option for an image gallery for those members who wish to put in visual artwork.
I think we need a site map.
It would also be good if clicking on the author's name at the top of the thread took you to their portfolio . . .
Apologies for hijacking your thread Bob . . . I'm gonna think on your comments up there and get back to you. You raise some excellent points about the revision process.
B.
Quite happy about that, Brian. These points need airing. I think there's a case for a slightly different type of discussion site (forum, blog or what have you). I feel that somehow we should be able to go from specific instances to more general issues and back a trifle more easily. Difficult to implement, as I know from my own system design work, but the present resources can be a bit teejus (for the purpose mentioned. Otherwise OK). A site-map would take us in the right direction, I agree - perhaps also something to make it clear that the lists on the RH side of the page are navigation aids as well as passive indexes.
BOB